Before the End
by Perfections-Cat
Summary: The thing about friends is that at one point or another you'll have to sever the ties that bind you. Sasuke centric drabbles. Spoiler Warning: Part 1 follows manga chapters 225 and 226, Part 2 follows 229, and Part 3 follows 233.
1. Tap Into Your Strength

Tap Into Your Strength

To think I had almost given it all away. My purpose. What more is there to my life? For the one who had left me here. _Suffer. Suffer he told me._ And you, you almost took that all away from me. What right have you to rob me of this, the only thing I can do, the only thing I must do?

Don't you realize that I am cursed with this? Myself alone. You have no idea what it had all once been. You who had always been alone. You who have only to gain. I've already lost it all. And to salvage what I can - call it honor, call it revenge - I will lay myself before the devil himself. I'll destroy the very core of my being.

What right do you have to stop me from this? You who know nothing. Over and over in my head, those silent screams - I swear they must have cried hell that day - play whether I sleep or wake. And I saw it. Over and over again. Watching them there, gasping for air as those crimson hands beckoned to me, their reach trailing ever closer. Telling me I should have been there with them though their eyes told me otherwise. _Survive. Don't come here._ Their blood still stained the ground for days after; it's embedded in my soul even now. How could I possibly forget all that I've seen and sworn to do?

He took everything from me that day. Everything you've ever wanted, he tore from my hands. And what did he throw at me, his parting gift? Nothing but hate and remorse and anger. _I wasn't strong enough. I wasn't bright enough. I wasn't courgeous enough._ The look in his eyes drained the very essence of pride that the name Uchiha bestows upon its clansmen. Cursing him. Hating him. All this he threw down at my feet, some scrapheap bone scittering across the dust. This is what I have survived upon until now.

And you, you gave me something else. I forgot the only reason I exist. Should I hate you or love you for this? My closest friend. No matter what choice I make, I'll end up losing. _Pitiful. Foolish._ My brother was right. There is no hope for the Uchiha clan. Not anymore.

Am I nothing more than my brother's shadow then? _Do not follow him._ Father. I only wanted you to be proud. Only wanted you to see me; I was always standing there, waiting. Forgive me then, Father. I could not be your son. I cannot forgive him.

Naruto, pave the way to my destruction. From those ashes of you, I'll rise and accomplish what I have sworn to do. This is the only way. From your stolen future - _at least you could see it_ - I'll seal my past.


	2. What I Wanted You to Know

There were things Uchiha Sasuke wanted to say. Things he had always wanted to say to him. And yet, like a well dammed river, the words could never flow forth freely. Never to be heard when he needed it the most. Granted, he was someone who carefully monitored whatever came out of his mouth, unlike the young boy staring him down at that moment, and rarely said what he truly felt. In fact, the only things that did spill from his lips, aside from well-aimed insults – though one might say it didn't take talent to rub Naruto the wrong way - and callous brush-offs, were declarations of war. Not as in I'll-take-on-the-world, but private battles he intended to finish. And none held higher priority than the destruction of his brother.

So, why was it then, in the moment he set forth to claim his brother's legacy, he suddenly felt his heart falter? Not that he was entirely surprised by this hesitancy. Deep down he had known this wouldn't be easy for him. Yet, no matter how well he managed to pull off the act – and there were years of hard-worn grief and well-nursed anger behind it – of never caring, never thinking twice, there was always that lingering doubt, small vestige of his childhood self, that tugged at his soul.

In fact, that part of him would have lain aside all of this, every little red drop of vengeance wiped away from his memories. He could have settled his past by moving on. There were others who cared, and the one he considered closest of all. That small part of his self wanted to give into that. It could end here. They would challenge each other, but nothing more. No more painful endings to gnaw away at his insides. Should he really finish this and take up the mantle his brother had cast at his feet, would this memory haunt him the way the Uchiha finale, death-soaked spectacle that it was, played in his mind?

At that moment, that childish desire nearly overrode it all. Friend, was it? His gaze slipped to the ground below them. It suddenly seemed ridiculous to even consider meeting Naruto's eyes. He had awakened fully prepared to repel whatever, whoever came at him. Anything, _anything_, to avenge the ones he had lost. No, the ones ripped out of his life. He hadn't done anything to lose what he had once loved. His brother had _taken_ them from him. And for what? To test his potential?

But, Naruto was so close. Oh, he could have tasted him, so close. Could he really throttle that life out of existence? This time he couldn't blame Itachi, though current reasoning was inclined to disagree. Killing Naruto would never have been necessary had his brother not set him on this path of destruction in the first place. Destroying him. Destroying everything he cared about. And there his thoughts stopped, unable to contemplate what would become of him after this was all over. What would there be to return to? Who would be there? No longer would he find his best friend's face, goofy grin plastered over his lips, just begging for an insult. No longer would they test themselves, me against you.

And that unspoken bond between them would be severed in the worst possible way. He knew what it would feel like. After having lost everything, to consciously throw away the one person he had learned to cherish would bury what little ability he had regained to acknowledge anything akin to love. It wasn't something he could easily brush aside. No, watching as the life sinks from their eyes is the worst possible memory a person can be left with. It was something that would never leave his mind, instead, sitting there as a chilling reminder. It wasn't even numbing, but like a cold so deep he could feel it burning its way from his insides out. An ever renewing fountain of ice-chipped regret.

It was in the midst of that, remembering all too vividly what it meant to lose, that he wanted to blurt out all sorts of impossible words to Naruto. Impossible only because the Sasuke he had become would have never said such things.

And then, like a threatened rattlesnake, anger struck him. No, Naruto couldn't possibly understand this. Watching them fade away…the blood-lined streets….his brother. With a growl, he pushed the smaller figure away from him. There were things even friends couldn't comprehend no matter how close they became. Eyes blazed as these thoughts burst forth, angry words blistering the air upon contact.

There was a part of him that hated Naruto for this, for never having had to experience the real face of Death. It was true that they had witnessed the ends of others, but never had Naruto had his senses ensnared by Death. Cruel and cold in all its senseless glory. There would be no miraculous resurrections after this.

Naruto was far too innocent. He could have never understood. How odd a thing it really was to have witnessed all that he loved snuffed out of breathing existence. Even odder still when he had realized that someone he loved was behind it all. He had known in that particular moment that Death had stood behind him, silently surveying his handiwork. In that one solemn moment, he had become an emotional wasteland; he had wanted to die as well. But, it hadn't turned out that way.

How different things would have been if none of that had occurred. Then, maybe, he could have said what he wanted to his best friend. After all, weren't people that close – and he knew, truly, that there were times neither of them needed to speak – supposed to be able to say anything and everything to each other?

There was no point to what if's though. Things had happened, and this was what his life had evolved into. But here on the precipice of Death's domain - one wrong move and someone was going over – he wished desperately that things had turned out differently, even if it meant that in the end they would never have become friends.

Sasuke breathed out, slowly turning over his thoughts as though expecting to find the answers he sought underneath one of them. Naruto had changed. He could tell that, not simply by their few physical engagements thus far, but by the words he was able to say. Words he wished he could have said. Stupid little syllables that would have spelled out exactly how he felt. His gaze stumbled over Naruto's figure, falling fast to the ground as the boy's words hit home.

So, that was it. The vague hints of a smile, not quite happy but tragically glad, pulled at his lips. Answers came even when he failed to speak.


	3. And Bleed It Dry

There is a reason anger was cast down to dwell within the realm of sin. Not just to live, but to rise up and become one of the seven greats that had the ability to rule the hearts of men. With snakelike ease, it could glide inside a man, easing through the cracks of a broken soul. And there it would live curled up beneath one's heart, growing to the point where it could constrict all reason, all honest desire to live.

_Curse me. Hate me. _

And it is only in hindsight – maybe mere seconds, sometimes decades after – that one realizes the true foolishness of a life ruled by wrath.

Sasuke exhaled heavily, the taste of blood and sweat and rain tainting his senses. Deep down, hidden away in some remote harbor of his childhood self, the part of him that remembered how it had all been – how it should have ended - was mourning. Never would that small vestige of innocence stop questioning why. Just as it still mulled over his brother's actions. Ungoverned by hate but consumed by a never ending grief, it would plague him with questions over his actions today.

Only minutes before, the answer had seemed all too clear. Avenge them. An ever present hatred would see to that. His life, from that breaking point on, had been spent living under that one belief. All the fame garnered, all the hours spent training, no longer to gain his father's attentions, but to force blood-stained repentance from his brother. There was no other way. Never really had been since the day he had rallied the pieces of his mind and heart around the sole purpose of vengeance.

And now, as he knelt there, he realized the truth of it all: he had become exactly what his brother had urged him to be. All those years spent hating him, loathing him, and yet, he was falling right into Itachi's hands. No wonder his brother could have cared less about him at their last meeting. Ever so perfectly played by the very man he wanted to kill. Slowly, Sasuke felt himself numbing from the inside out.

However, his path lay before him, the final marker of his known self laying right there by his knees. His fingers ached to reach out, to touch that face, to brush soiled fingertips over those closed eyes. He was so impossibly close to the boy. So close… splinters of his dark hair dripping unspoken regret over the surfaces of the boy's cheeks. Yet another parting memory he wished he could erase from his mind.

But it was those memories – those little volatile memories ripe with sorrow and remorse – that carried him through, urging him on to complete his task. Never would that angry serpent allow his heart to rest until he ended it all, hands stained further. Oh, but it would be justice then. Hard and swift and satisfying vengeance. This is how Sasuke consoled himself. Because in the end, every hard-lined, heartbreaking step would pay off in the end. In his brother's blood he would settle his sins.

When anger works to heal those fissures in a splintered soul, it cannot simply be discarded without everything coming undone. He understood this now, and perhaps, had always known it. Sasuke stood, fingertips sending a small shower of pink-hued raindrops to the dirt as he went. He could stay here no longer.


End file.
